Tests and Temptations

Artwork by Daria Ustiugova

And so it began.

The season of Lent.

You may have started this season with intention and gusto; enthusiasm and commitment;

excited for the spiritual transformation that would happen within you as you stuck to this or that discipline you chose for Lent.

Then…

day 4 or 5 came around

and suddenly, the gusto declined as temptations emerged.

If you decided to give up sugar, for instance, you went to work only to discover that your coworker spontaneously decided to bring in several boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts for the entire office.

If you decided to stop using your smartphone each evening in order to spend quality time with your family, all of a sudden on day 5, you remembered a bunch of emails you had to respond to and oh, it just couldn’t wait until the next morning!

You went into Lent with an unwavering commitment to your new discipline and immediately, you were hit with temptations left and right. Thus, you may have conjured up justifications about why it was okay to put your discipline on pause for just this or that instance.

Before you knew it, you were saying, “Lenten discipline”? Oh poof, that was ridiculous to begin with.

This may sound familiar to you because this is the process all of us go through anytime we make a new commitment or resolve to add or change a habit:

at the start of a new year

a birthday

upon the diagnosis of an illness.

We make these resolutions with devotion and excitement about what’s to come.

But inevitably, tests and temptations begin to present themselves and we begin to waver and question our initial goals which, eventually lead us to give up those goals, only to return to where we started, never moving forward in our lives.

Psychologists describe this tendency among humans as the constant gravitation towards homeostasis.

It’s hard for humans to change, especially as we get older because we are most comfortable with and drawn towards homeostasis. Change and evolution puts too much stress and pressure upon us.

This kind of pattern is documented all throughout the Bible. A person or a group of people resolve to make a new commitment and turn away from old destructive tendencies, practices, or habits. Or God invites them to change their ways.

In the beginning, the person or people are excited and fully committed. But then, sooner than not, tests and temptations begin to present themselves and they give up their commitments and return to homeostasis.

Famous examples would be in the book of Exodus, where the Israelites, after being liberated from the hands of the Egyptians, find themselves in the wilderness for 40 years. Throughout that time, God tells them over and over again not to turn to idols and to trust in God alone.

Each time something goes wrong, which is a lot, because a lot of things can go wrong when you’re living in the wilderness for 40 years, the Israelites build idols to worship and pray to because they stop trusting in God and try to create a deity who will give them what they want with faster speed.

Here’s the truth about the human condition:

We are oriented towards God and being closer to God.

This is our soul’s longing and original intention.

As Saint Augustine once said, our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you, oh God.

We are not at peace until we are living out our purpose to be connected to God and one another.

That’s the point of this entire season—to take on or give up a practice that will facilitate this closeness and reorient us if we’ve been knocked off track.

Here’s the other truth about the human condition.

Once we make a resolve to get closer to God and reconcile with one another, we will be hit with tests.

You may wonder, well, why does it have to be that way?

Why do our transformation have to be so dang hard? Why can’t we just achieve our goals more easily? 

And also, more philosophically, where do these tests come from? From God? The Devil? 

To those questions I will simply say with pure honesty: I don’t know why it is this way. I also don’t know where those tests come from.

It may just be a matter of pure science, where any time an organism tries to change itself, it has to overcome its own homeostasis to get to the next level.

It is what it is.

As such, it’s better for us not to see tests and temptations as a bad thing but rather, natural ingredients of the growth process. They are there to make sure we are truly committed to our growth.

Knowledge is power.

So if we at least know this, 

if we know that once we make a commitment to realign ourselves with God, that once we make a commitment to better ourselves, that tests will inevitably come, they’re just a part of the growth process; knowing this, we can be prepared to face them and not succumb to them, even when those tests trigger the weakest and most vulnerable parts of ourselves.

When we stay the course, when we stay committed to what we want, which is to be closer to God and to be reconciled to one another, and pass those tests and temptations, we will blossom.

We just

have

to

overcome

our natural inclination towards homeostasis.

Your homeostasis may be different from mine.

One person’s homeostasis may be that they are constantly impatient and snap at others when they are stressed out.

Another person’s homeostasis may be that they are constantly prone to people-pleasing and don’t know how to stand up for themselves.

Yet another person’s homeostasis may be that they struggle with severe social anxiety and prefer to live in the world of smartphones and the internet instead of having raw and real relationships that require risk and vulnerability.

Only you know what your homeostasis is—that place where you are most comfortable and would rather not change even if it would make your life so much better because change requires too much effort. It’s easier just to live the same old way you’ve been living for years.

But for those of us who are not satisfied with living the same old way we’ve been living for years. For those of us who actually want to get to that next level of intimacy with God or that next level of stepping into our fullest and most authentic powerful selves, we must approach our commitments knowing that tests and temptations are just around the corner and figure out how to pass those tests and resist those temptations:

-to hold our tongues when we want to say something mean to somebody else.

-to sit down and pray when we are anxious about the millions of tasks we have to do that day.

-to let go and trust God when our impulse is to micromanage and control every piece of our lives.   

Before you start beating yourself up for those times you didn’t pass those tests or resist those temptations, I want you to remember the words of God spoken through the prophet Joel in the traditional reading for Ash Wednesday: “Even now, even after you have turned away from me over and over again, return to me with your heart, with fasting and repentance for I am gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in love.”

There is always grace.

There is always second, third, fourth—a million chances.

Also remember that our transformations will be slow.

Be patient when your transformation don’t happen instantly and dramatically.

One fine day, after steadily keeping your commitment, you’ll notice, oh, I didn’t snap at my spouse like I normally would have before! Hey, there’s growth happening here.

May these words bring you all comfort and strength during this season of Lent.

I preached a version of this post on March 1, 2020. Go here to watch the sermon.